Have you ever just thought and wondered~ What if this never happened?

Bonnie Walker / July 26, 2018

Have you ever just thought and wondered: What If this never happened? What would I be like if I had never been assaulted? Where would my life be today? Would I have kids, would I be married? Would I be struggling like I do each day to motivate myself to get up, shower, take my meds and try to engage in the world as we know it without the daily thoughts of ending it all?
Then of course, I’ve asked myself what would I be like: what would I be passionate about today? Would I be as passionate about trying to make a difference in the world around me as I am now? What would it be? What would drive me, like I am being drawn now to shout at the roof tops, share on all the Facebook feeds, and social media platforms I can find, call the various organizations, to help other survivors of MST like myself find the resources so much easier than what I had when I needed help.
So, there you have it, the pendulum of “What if’s”. The stuck points my therapist so frequently reminds me of at each of my one-hour visits with her.
So, as I spend the last few hours working on the MST Survivor Project website, behind the computer screen imputing information for others; it dawned on me. Who would have thought of this crazy idea I had about building a data base of organizations so that others like me and their providers have resources at a click of a button.
So Today…. No More What If’s!
I’m going own this event in my life. I’m not going let it define who I am, I am going to let it define who I am going to become because of it: A Warrior that serves her fellow Sisters and Brothers… a beacon of hope for each and everyone of us, that we can rise above the pain, heartache and suffering that each of us have to endure.